kristal unggu

LOSING MY MOM

I was in Jakarta when the phone call came at around 10.00 pm on a Tuesday night May 13th. Mom has passed away.

In a way, I have been prepared for it for a long time. We have given her our best. She has been sick for a long time bed ridden. And I couldn't bear to see her go on. In fact quietly, I wanted her sufferings to end. And death is the kindest thing that God has created for all of us for such an instance.

Prior to receiveing the news, I was suddenly so exhausted. Thought I was going to die in a hotel room, alone in Jakarta. After the news, I couldn't sleep until around 4.30am. I was battling with the reponsibilty of going back immediately the following morning or stay on until Friday morning as planned.

Calculating departure time in Soekarno Hatta airport and arrival time at my hometown in Pahang, Malaysia, it was just next to impossible of arriving in time for burial.

As painful as it was, I had to sound as calm as possible advising my uncle and brother that they should go on the funeral less me. As a Muslim, it was very imperative the body be buried as soon as possible upon demise. It was phone call after phone call back home monitoring what was happening thousand of kilometres away back home.

So, what is it like to have lost my mother? I couldn't stop my silent tears while attempting breakfast in a corner of the hotel restaurant the following morning. Told my colleague back home in KL, no work for me that day in honour of my mother. I didn't have any more energy left in me.

I went to meet Yani my adopted sister in Jakarta. She did all she could to help me cope up with the situation. I was just so lost and empty at that point of time. Then went back to my hotel room again. Alone. Cut off all business calls. I just needed to be alone.

To all my friends who have been so kind to extend me their condolences, I thank you all right from the bottom of my heart. It definitely helped me eased the pain.

Now, it has been 2 weeks since my mom is gone. The actual mourning is about to begin as memories of those years of having her starts to trickle into my mind. I lost my dad about 7 years ago. I still miss him.

To all of you who are still blessed with your parents, appreciate them. Do what ever you can do for the day will come when you will have to lose them.

I have lost both and I know what I am talking about.

If you are a Muslim, will appreciate it greatly if you could kindly recite the Al-Fatehah for my late mom.

For the rest of you, thank you very much for sharing my grief.

Yours truly,

Muhamad Abdullah.
K.L.